Wednesday, October 28, 2009

"The Office" Feel Good Quotes

Sorry. My recent revelation that the show, "The Office," is actually brilliant has sparred me to go into some geekdom. Enjoy.

Jim Halpert: I bought the boat tickets the day I saw that YouTube video. I knew we'd need a backup plan. The boat was actually plan C. The church was plan B. And plan A was marring her a long, long time ago. Pretty much the day I met her.
Angela: [crying] Sprinkles never hurt a soul. God, in your infinite wisdom how can you do this? She wasn't ready, she had so much left to accomplish.
Dwight Schrute: Tis only a cat.
Angela: You never... you don't like them.
Dwight Schrute: Cats do not provide milk or wool or meat.
Michael Scott: Would I rather be feared or loved? Um... Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.
Dwight Schrute: Women are like wolves. If you want a wolf, you have to trap it. You have to snare it. And then you have to tame it. Keep it happy. Care for it. Feed it. Lovingly, the way an animal deserves to be loved. And my animal deserves a lot of loving.
Angela: I know that patience and loyalty are good and virtuous traits but sometimes I just think you need to grow a pair.
Pam Beesly: Hey! I wanna say something. I've been trying to be more honest lately, and I just wanna say a few things. I did the coal walk! Just, I did it. Michael, you couldn't even do that. Maybe I should be your boss. Wow I feel really good right now. [pause] Why didn't any of you come to my art show? I invited all of you. That really sucked. It's like sometimes some of you act like I don't even exist. Jim, I called off my wedding because of you. And now we're not even friends. And things are just like weird between us. And that sucks. And I miss you. You were my best friend before you went to Stamford. And I really miss you. I shouldn't have been with Roy, and there were a lot of reasons to call of my wedding. But the truth is, I didn't care about any of those reasons until I met you. And now you're with someone else. And that's fine. It's, whatever, it's not what I'm- I'm not- Okay my feet really hurt. The thing that I'm just trying to say to you Jim, and to everyone else in the circle, I guess, is that I miss having fun with you. Just you, not everyone in the circle. Okay. I am gonna go walk in the water now. Yep. It's a good day. [she runs away]
Michael Scott: Pam! That was amazing! ...But I am still looking for someone with a sales background.
Dwight Schrute: We-- Don't you wanna earn Schrute Bucks!?
Stanley: No. In fact, I'll give you a billion Stanley Nickels if you never talk to me again.
Dwight Schrute: What's the ratio of Stanley Nickels to Schrute Bucks?
Stanley: The same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns.
Michael Scott: [bangs gavel] The hell is that?
Phyllis: It's the only gavel I could find.
Michael Scott: It squeaks when you bang it. That's what she said.

Okay, I'll stop there.


  1. These are great. I love the episode where Sprinkles dies and Michael hits Meredith with his car. That's one of my favorites. The only thing missing from the NBC Office is Gareth. He's my favorite from the BBC version. Here's a few of my favorite Gareth quotes to spark your interest:

    “People look at me, they say he’s tough, he was in the army he’s gonna be hard, by the book. But I am caring, and sensitive. Isn’t Schindler’s list a brilliant film?”

    “I could catch a monkey. If I was starving I could. I’d make poison darts out of the poison of the deadly frogs. One milligram of that poison can kill a monkey. Or a man. Prick yourself and you’d be dead within a day. Or longer. Different frogs, different times.”

    “Condom’s come in all different flavours nowadays. There’s strawberry and curry and that. Do you like curry?”

  2. That is such a great episode! I love any of the Pam/Jim focused eps too. So sweet. I tried watching some of the BBC version but I couldn't really understand what they were saying! Maybe if I get desperate I can start on that. Thanks!