Sunday, August 30, 2009

Oh man! This episode of 30 Days entitled "Same Sex Parenting" just absolutely enrages me. The woman who is a proponent of man and woman only marriage and adoption is so inflexible and close minded that I have no idea why she would even sign up for such a experiment in social difference. I thought that maybe when she saw how foster children grow up and the important of loving families rather than only married couples, she would perhaps open up her perspective more but somehow, it did nothing.

I think that same sex marriages/couples should be able to adopt as much as they want. They have to seriously struggle and apply to get children, participate in background checks, financial checks and references yet we have people everyday that get knocked up and have no way of supporting or caring for a child. I am hoping that this is one of those things that gets easier and more accessible with time for gay and lesbian couples just as rights have slowly come to those of different ethnicity and backgrounds.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Squaring it out

Alright, plans are streamlined for the time being. I just plan to work my ass off until I get out of debt (not including student loans) and THEN I can move. Genius! (as long as I don't lose my mind).

Cara & Andrew's wedding was this weekend. It was so amazing! It turned out beautifully and I think everyone had a lot of fun. The pictures we have seen so far are great. It was such an amazing honor to be part of their day and I am happy to report that they are on the plane heading to Hawaii right now....actually, they should be there already! They have been through so much this summer and I can't wait to hear all about their vacation with just the two of them. Seeing how much they care for each other constantly brought tears to my eyes the entire week I have been here. It really makes you believe that love is out there even if you have yet to see it for yourself.

So anyways, I am trying to fall in love with Portland/Vancouver again and figure out the next few steps. I am going to move within the next two weeks so change should be coming soon!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Spending time in the back of the summer

Wow, has summer just flown by. I feel like it was only yesterday that I was finishing my spring term and now here it is the end of my last class. Tomorrow morning is my last final at Oregon State and as long as I don't bomb it, I am out of here. After Thursday, I will officially be unemployed WITH a college degree. Ah to be back at square one at the ripe young age of 28.
I have been bombarded with questions (what now? when? where? why?) and opinions about my future. The funny thing is that I don't even know about my own future. I am a planner by nature, a meticulous researcher and planner so that I can expect the unexpected and be flexible for whatever life throws at me. About a month ago, life was rearranged for both the good and the bad. I became single again. I also had to live with said ex-boyfriend for another month and a half. Now my direction was solely up to me and there was no solid LARGE arrow pointing anywhere. Yes, Portland is the natural direction but why??? I have wonderful friends there and my mom is nearby but otherwise, I have no strong pull in any direction. My friends are all amazing and are on their own paths so now I need to figure mine out.
The stupid thing is that I feel like I have been transported back to 2004. I was out of Americorps, broke, and unemployed. I was unemployed for over a year, applying to jobs like crazy, but did manage to have a few temp jobs to fill in the gaps. I definitely don't want to be in that position again and besides, I have a fabulously expensive degree in Liberal Arts.....the options! Moving in any unfamiliar direction is scary. My research only makes me feel so confident. How did people uproot their lives without the advances of internet? Without the advances of Google? Can I say that Google has changed my life? Yep, I would indeed go as far to say as such.
I wish that I knew what the future held for me. I wish that I could sleep at night without constantly thinking of the 100 million "as-ifs" that are real and possible. What about the overall "what if"? The whole deal that if I never try, I never know what is out there. What's the hockey quote......You miss 100% of the shots you don't take? And hey, if worse comes to worse, credit cards can move me back home and I can start my 30s in transition as well.
I have been contemplating Denver for the past few weeks. It was a seriously random thought when I was pondering places besides Portland that I could live. I thought of California but too expensive. I thought of Washington but didn't see many jobs up there. I would need to move somewhere that I could drive to but that I would actually want to live in as well. Since High School, I have thought about Colorado and Minnesota and New York. All would be amazing places to live but since I needed something low-cost, that ruled out New York. After my trip there this last winter, I knew it would be too expensive even if I lived in the ghetto. No car needed though! Minnesota would be beautiful but maybe too far of a drive and maybe too much snow come winter. I could handle it but eh. Colorado seems beautiful, near tons of wonderful places and a more relaxed atmosphere. Have I been here? Nope. All the more reason to go!