Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Spending time in the back of the summer

Wow, has summer just flown by. I feel like it was only yesterday that I was finishing my spring term and now here it is the end of my last class. Tomorrow morning is my last final at Oregon State and as long as I don't bomb it, I am out of here. After Thursday, I will officially be unemployed WITH a college degree. Ah to be back at square one at the ripe young age of 28.
I have been bombarded with questions (what now? when? where? why?) and opinions about my future. The funny thing is that I don't even know about my own future. I am a planner by nature, a meticulous researcher and planner so that I can expect the unexpected and be flexible for whatever life throws at me. About a month ago, life was rearranged for both the good and the bad. I became single again. I also had to live with said ex-boyfriend for another month and a half. Now my direction was solely up to me and there was no solid LARGE arrow pointing anywhere. Yes, Portland is the natural direction but why??? I have wonderful friends there and my mom is nearby but otherwise, I have no strong pull in any direction. My friends are all amazing and are on their own paths so now I need to figure mine out.
The stupid thing is that I feel like I have been transported back to 2004. I was out of Americorps, broke, and unemployed. I was unemployed for over a year, applying to jobs like crazy, but did manage to have a few temp jobs to fill in the gaps. I definitely don't want to be in that position again and besides, I have a fabulously expensive degree in Liberal Arts.....the options! Moving in any unfamiliar direction is scary. My research only makes me feel so confident. How did people uproot their lives without the advances of internet? Without the advances of Google? Can I say that Google has changed my life? Yep, I would indeed go as far to say as such.
I wish that I knew what the future held for me. I wish that I could sleep at night without constantly thinking of the 100 million "as-ifs" that are real and possible. What about the overall "what if"? The whole deal that if I never try, I never know what is out there. What's the hockey quote......You miss 100% of the shots you don't take? And hey, if worse comes to worse, credit cards can move me back home and I can start my 30s in transition as well.
I have been contemplating Denver for the past few weeks. It was a seriously random thought when I was pondering places besides Portland that I could live. I thought of California but too expensive. I thought of Washington but didn't see many jobs up there. I would need to move somewhere that I could drive to but that I would actually want to live in as well. Since High School, I have thought about Colorado and Minnesota and New York. All would be amazing places to live but since I needed something low-cost, that ruled out New York. After my trip there this last winter, I knew it would be too expensive even if I lived in the ghetto. No car needed though! Minnesota would be beautiful but maybe too far of a drive and maybe too much snow come winter. I could handle it but eh. Colorado seems beautiful, near tons of wonderful places and a more relaxed atmosphere. Have I been here? Nope. All the more reason to go!


  1. I will try! thank you amy....you are AMAZING!

  2. It's not trendy and I don't know about the job market, but you are welcome to move to Toledo if you want something different. Rent would at least be cheap (you could always move into our basement, but even if you didn't, rent is seriously cheap) Anyway, go where you need to go! Transitions are scary, but not all bad.

  3. Thanks Lyssa. I wish it were that easy to not over think everything and just move somewhere random! I was going to just say hell with it and go to Denver but I have bills and rent to think about! Ah if only I was a millionaire :)