I am going to change the name of my blog to Awkward Girl. I astound myself in how awkward I can be sometimes. I hate (hate, hate) making small talk and trying to be clever yet relaxed. I am a people pleaser and absolutely hate looking stupid.
To go along with my awkwardness, I am going to be teaching/presenting a 12-week program for people who are working on getting employment and all that that entails. I have to come off as confident, knowledgable, and relatable. How in the hells do I do that? I want to be incredibly self-assured and make sure that not only those I am teaching but also my supervisor and co-workers see me as someone who is organized, has things together, and can really be independent in the projects that they give me. I have the constant voice in my head (just one...most of the time) saying "Just do it," "Pretend you are confident," "You have skills and experience." These aren't lies but they are things that I forget about all the time. It is difficult being an adult. They never tell you this stuff in high school....usually only in therapy sessions and horrible reality tv shows about drug addiction and anger management.
I also notice myself having quite elaborate conversations with myself, in my head. Is this strange? Do other people do this too?