Saturday, April 10, 2010
I wanted to see this movie since buzz started at Sundance. I think both main characters, Michael Cera and the adorably disheveled Charlyne Yi are excellent in this story of love. It isn't necessarily how they got together, although they did date in real life, but it talks about ....love. The movie begins as a quest to help Charlyne figure out if she will ever be capable of love and if love even exists. People are dumbfounded when she candidly says that she isn't sure she will ever be in love. The reactions are some of the best parts of the entire film.
Things that stood out to me:
Marriage isn't always this great thing. For some people, it is scary and represents a lot of pain, unhappiness, and "settling" for less. I have such a crazy view of what marriage is versus what it should be that I fear I tend to fall into this group more often than not.
True love is not the same thing as love. One guy told his story about how he found a true love; someone he saw as he looked at his life and thought it would be empty without her. For him it was true love but for her it was not. For it to be true, it needs to be from both sides. Sometimes we don't always know that it isn't mutual.
Love is the enjoyment of another person. It is the spike in seratonin levels and feeling of euphoria.
Love is an emotion that encourages procreation. As humans, we have an obligation or need to procreate. The love part facilitates that.
Maybe these explain why people who have been together for 20 years get a divorce. They have kids, they have the enjoyment and love for their children, they create a home together, and when the children leave to lead their own independent lives, maybe that love dies and all that is left is two people with a long history.
Depressing take on things? Yes.
There are people who are together for decades and never have children. Does that make their love more pure and dedicated? They have formed a life for themselves and in order to sustain it, they keep those fiery passions and lines of communication open. I never thought about things like this but it does bring a new perspective on the longevity of "love."
This then brings up the question of divorce. One of the judges and lawyers that work in a family law court see divorces and the "evil" side of love. One woman said it brilliantly: We are not a very patient society. When we get in a relationship and its not what we want or what we saw it as, we quit. We like to have immediate results and we like to have what others have. It's, again, our human nature.
For love to exist, we need to be so vulnerable, so trusting, so optimistic, and so honest....hello, SCARY! Each and every one of those words is SCARY. It is diving into a pool where you know nothing about the depth, the substance in the pool, your ability to swim or if you can breathe underwater. Good grief. No wonder there are so many movies--they are there to encourage us to believe!