Friday, April 9, 2010

A Little Comment & A Little Vent

Do you ever get this nagging feeling when someone makes a little comment? A little comment meaning that it was said in passing or without much thought or emotion. It happens all the time; we make a comment or an observation and that's where it ends. Sometimes I wonder where the other person takes that comment though---does it stay with them and continue through their day or does it stay in that passing moment. Perhaps I don't make sense explaining it but I know that it must be a thought of other people, too.

When you are a kid, people say things all the time and you just go along with it because, well, what else would you do? If another kid says something, you eitehr get angry and say "Nuh uh" or ignore it. Do you remember any of those things that were said to you as a child? Do they still influence you today?

I still remember things that were said to me in elementary school, mostly about my weight. I took part in the 80's fashion scene (can we say crimped hair and Hypercolor shirts?) and was always nice but quiet so the only thing that anyone could pick on me for was the weight. And even 20 years later, I still remember what certain kids said and that boggles my mind that for all the things that I have accomplished, these "needle-prick" comments still resonante with me. It actually kind of irks me!

So, these comments come and go and eventually they will fade into the memory graveyard along with my math skills and remembering why I liked Jordan the best in NKOTB. But there are still these little comments today that keep elbowing me in the side. My mom said something last night that kind of put me in a sour mood and immediately after I had a strong emotional and physical reaction. To her, it wasn't anything significant or serious, strictly a little comment in a causal conversation. To me, it put a complete hault to any positivity and made me frustrated that despite all that I have been doing for myself to be healthier, my mother doesn't seem to think it is all that big of a deal.

I wish that everyone could have this great, everlasting confidence. Despite little comments on Facebook or looks on the street, we could all stand tall and be as comfortable in our own skin as we are in our pajamas.


  1. I know exactly what you mean. When I was in elementary school my mom tried cutting my hair in a layered style. It was a huge disaster. She took me somewhere to have it fixed, but I basically looked like I stuck my finger in a light socket for a year. I was constantly teased, and I hated going to school during that period. I still remember the kids who would tease me, and if I ever recognized one of them on the street it would really bother me. To this day I worry if my hair has too much body.

  2. How upsetting! And when you are that young, you can't control what happens with your hair. I think you have gorgeous hair!

  3. Thanks! I think you are beautiful as well. I know snide comments can be damaging, but don’t let it keep you from your goals.

  4. I have the SAME reaction as well! Because my mom was really negative growing up I am sensitive to anything she could say that was really critical-specifically about my weight or referencing to the fact that I was flaky-in HIGH SCHOOL. Isn't everyone???

    These comments keep me in check daily about how I interact with others and specifically how I interact with my mother. I am always very careful to be extra responsible and eat really well in front of her-and it makes no sense. She cannot put me on slim fast in middle school again:)

    I heard once that words are like records in our mind that we consistently listen to over and over again until we choose to destroy the old and get a new one. We truly do create what we think about ourselves and if we continue to listen to these messages we will continue to act in the same patterns that we set for ourselves. Even good comments can screw you up! Two of my good messages were, "march or die"-from my dad when I would fall or hurt myself and I would always say, "march" and then I never learned how to be okay with living in pain-both physical or emotional because I always had to get up and keep on. The other was, "You are the glue that holds things together."-which leads me to always take responsibility for things and make sure everything is okay because I am the one that "holds things together"-which doesn't leave room for failure.

    Words spoken over us can be so immobilizing.

  5. It's interesting to think they are an everlasting record that we can either turn off or keep playing. And even the words that other people deem as positive may not always be received that way. I can see how both of those things your dad said could be pretty difficult to move on from. I feel like some things have to have an expiration date other wise we are just doing more harm than good to ourselves.