Aries Horoscope for week of August 2, 2012
The astrological omens suggest that you now have a lot in common with the legendary Most Interesting Man in the World -- adventurous, unpredictable, interesting, lucky, one-of-a-kind. To create your horoscope, I have therefore borrowed a few selected details from his ad campaign's descriptions of him. Here we go: In the coming weeks, you will be the life of parties you don't even attend. Astronauts will be able to see your charisma from outer space. Up to one-third of your body weight will be gravitas. Your cell phone will always have good reception, even in a subway 100 feet underground. Panhandlers will give you money. You could challenge your reflection to a staring contest -- and win. You'll be able to keep one eye on the past while looking into the future. When you sneeze, God will say "God bless you."
Just waiting on all that positive affirmation and reinforcement of my self-esteem!