Thursday, September 16, 2010

Day 22: Something that upsets you, in great detail

Something that upsets me is money issues. I have struggled with money since I was born and I absolutely hate dealing with it. Even in the profession that I plan to go into, I want nothing to do with funding, financial aid, or budgets. I despise money. I simply want enough to live on, enough to get me out of debt and enough to have savings for when something comes up.

Debt is a huge reason I hate money and I have no one to blame but myself. I have gone through ups and downs using the credit cards but they have been a support system and savior at times so I can't completely regret them. I am in a credit counseling program that consolidates all my payments into one lump sum and I get some pretty great deals from the credit card companies themselves for being willing to pay off my debt rather than just declaring bankruptcy.

When I moved to Michigan, I had my finances planned out very specifically. I knew exactly how much I was going to need to live off of, upcoming expenses and how much I could pay for rent. I did not account for other little things like influences on my financial aid that would decrease it or that I would have to borrow money for the move and pay it back quickly. I am on somewhat steady ground now but things are tight, tight, tight. It has been a rough few weeks though but luckily financial aid here is very nice and helpful.

My mom very lovingly stated "Well, at least you don't have friends!" which is true here but it wasn't like I was terribly social or spendy in Portland either. The one good thing in Portland was that there were always very cheap things to do just to get out of the house. I am still getting my orientation here and while there are not any cheap theaters nearby, there is already a favorite thrift store and I have kept true to some of my tricks to get out of the house but not spend much money.

Back to the topic at hand: I hate money. When people say they couldn't live on less than $50K for income, I look at them like they are crazy. I can survive on little but it is nice to have a cushion. I am not a fancy girl by any means--I bought a TV and DVD player off Craigslist as a huge "splurge" just so I could quite getting headaches by watching TV on my laptop that is at least six years old. When I bought my tires last year, the guy at Les Schwab asked how long I planned to have my car. My reply? "Um, as long as it keeps running?" and that is pretty much where I am at. The new budget is definitely making me redefine what I "need" versus what I "want." I need a kitchen table chair. I want a couch. I need underwear. I want to buy shoes. Etc.

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